For the last six months, pursuing forgiveness to bring healing into my life - particularly in a Christian way - has been a big focus of mine. It revolves around a specific situation that I am not at liberty speak of in detail.
Today I thought I had made a small step toward not just forgiveness but reconciliation in this situation, only to find later that my future actions were already pre-judged to turn out the same as my past actions despite active attempts made on my part in the last six months in a variety of ways (counseling, training, reading books) to explore potentially better ways to handle the same situations.
It's days like today I need to remind myself of parables, some of the strongest uses of creative words to make points about biblical truth. Though told orally to the crowds, they were also transcribed for future generations.
Today my thoughts turned to the parable of the unmerciful servant (see Matthew 18), where Peter asks Jesus how many times to forgive his brother - "Jesus answered, 'I tell you, not seven times, but seventy-seven times.'" (Matthew 18:22, NIV).
He then goes on in Matthew 18 to illustrate the point by telling the story of how one servant who owed money begged his master to be patient with him, then turned around and tried by force to get the money out of another man who owed him. When the fellow servant refuses, he is punished by being thrown in prison and the other servants tell the master. The master punishes the servant for not having mercy and turns him over the jailors for torture until he pays back what he owes. The point is that God wants each of us to forgive from our hearts with mercy repeatedly, or God will not be happy with us, just like the misbehaving servant.
It's written better in the Bible, and I encourage you to read it there. I don't want to be so creative as to trump a well-written parable.
As to myself, what I have to keep reminding myself is that it is important to work on forgiving over and over, even if reconciliation never happens. It is possible to forgive without reconciliation. Forgiveness is understanding the issue but not necessarily condoning the action, but the latter concept of reconciliation is trying to bring things back together. That is why it is possible to forgive multiple times over... but you're not required to forget. In fact, if we forget, we can't learn from past mistakes. That's what I believe anyway.
I'm not so sure God has reconciliation on the horizon for me on this one, but the hard part is keeping faith while managing expectations. A tough thing to juggle.
Thursday, October 22, 2009
Thursday, October 8, 2009
My Own Creative Words: Empathy Building in San Francisco
I found it interesting that when being sent by my company to a seminar about leading with emotional intelligence, which emphasizes empathy among its aspects, that Christ put me in a situation to do a little empathy building of my own.
As many know, I struggle with several medical conditions. Most people don't know it unless I tell them (unless they've seen me at my worst when I can't hide symptoms which is rare). I try very very hard to live a 'normal' life and only ask for adjustments when required.
One aspect of this trip was that it was my first one flying with a new medication that is in syringes. That actually went quite well.
The surprises came at the hotel.
When I arrived at the hotel in San Francisco, the woman at the front desk told me:
"We have you down for an accessible hotel room."
I asked her to repeat this. I'd made a special request for a microwave for health reasons, but I never asked the folks arranging travel to get me an accessible room. She confirmed that yes, I'm down for that, but she couldn't see why I'd need it.
Now I found myself in a bind. I didn't know if corporate requested this. I didn't think they did, but technically someone with my condition could request a room like this. In the end, I decided to go with it and save us all a lot of hassle. How bad could it be?
In point of fact, it was not bad at all as far as what it offered. In terms of communication, it had bright illuminating lights on the wall for ringing phones and a doorbell for the hard of hearing (I originally thought the latter was some sort of panic emergency button for people to get in, it wasn't until the 2nd day I found the strobe for the doorbell). The room was much wider than a standard king size room, as was the restroom with handles against the walls for everything, and a shower equipped for sitting and standing. The front door also had peepholes at two levels, regular height and wheelchair height.
What I wasn't prepared for was how I'd feel emotionally being in that room. My first reaction was, "I'm no cripple!" but then I realized that if I was worse off, this would be a great place as I started to think about all the things offered. Right now, for the moment, the place would be good enough for me. It helped me be a bit more at peace with my own current situation, and empowered me to see my strengths which have been difficult to see as I've struggled with a new diagnosis.
By the time I was done with the trip, I confess I felt very spoiled by the experience. Now when I see someone traveling who is wheelchair bound, or hard of hearing, I'll relate to what they go through and definitely know a great hotel to recommend to them - Hilton Union Square. No, this is not a plug paid by money and I've gotten no swag... the 'payment' was in how my own mind was open to better relate to people in this world.
As many know, I struggle with several medical conditions. Most people don't know it unless I tell them (unless they've seen me at my worst when I can't hide symptoms which is rare). I try very very hard to live a 'normal' life and only ask for adjustments when required.
One aspect of this trip was that it was my first one flying with a new medication that is in syringes. That actually went quite well.
The surprises came at the hotel.
When I arrived at the hotel in San Francisco, the woman at the front desk told me:
"We have you down for an accessible hotel room."
I asked her to repeat this. I'd made a special request for a microwave for health reasons, but I never asked the folks arranging travel to get me an accessible room. She confirmed that yes, I'm down for that, but she couldn't see why I'd need it.
Now I found myself in a bind. I didn't know if corporate requested this. I didn't think they did, but technically someone with my condition could request a room like this. In the end, I decided to go with it and save us all a lot of hassle. How bad could it be?
In point of fact, it was not bad at all as far as what it offered. In terms of communication, it had bright illuminating lights on the wall for ringing phones and a doorbell for the hard of hearing (I originally thought the latter was some sort of panic emergency button for people to get in, it wasn't until the 2nd day I found the strobe for the doorbell). The room was much wider than a standard king size room, as was the restroom with handles against the walls for everything, and a shower equipped for sitting and standing. The front door also had peepholes at two levels, regular height and wheelchair height.
What I wasn't prepared for was how I'd feel emotionally being in that room. My first reaction was, "I'm no cripple!" but then I realized that if I was worse off, this would be a great place as I started to think about all the things offered. Right now, for the moment, the place would be good enough for me. It helped me be a bit more at peace with my own current situation, and empowered me to see my strengths which have been difficult to see as I've struggled with a new diagnosis.
By the time I was done with the trip, I confess I felt very spoiled by the experience. Now when I see someone traveling who is wheelchair bound, or hard of hearing, I'll relate to what they go through and definitely know a great hotel to recommend to them - Hilton Union Square. No, this is not a plug paid by money and I've gotten no swag... the 'payment' was in how my own mind was open to better relate to people in this world.
Friday, September 18, 2009
When It is Hard to Make Spiritual Journaling a Habit
I'll be the first to admit it is hard to pick up a pen, or a keyboard, every day and commit to doing something like spiritual journaling. I've written on it before, and I'd like to be able to sit here and say it is something I have done every day without fail... but that's not true.
I used to write when I felt led, which was sporadically, especially when very busy from work. This morning, out of curiosity and knowing I hadn't used it in a while, I went to pick up the journal and look at it. The fact it was buried under some computer manuals at my desk (I've had a lot of computer problems lately) was not a good sign.
Sure enough the last date is: 10/27/2008.
Nearly a year ago???
It's also interesting to me what the last entry is about. I don't mind mentioning it because I referred to it in the past in this blog. My last entry revolves around examining things when I heard that my first spiritual teacher, and also a founding member of my in-person Creative Words to Spread the Word group, suffered a major stroke that would quickly take her life. I wonder what she'd think of me, not practicing well what I've tried to preach.
Part of me wants to say it is all the personal struggles I've suffered the last year that have kept me from being the most effective I can. I've been thrown a lot of curveballs personally and professionally. Yet, instead of using Spiritual Journaling to get closer to God and work through things, I threw it aside and locked it away. That's not to say I wandered away from my faith, but I will say I don't think I've been taking full advantage of it.
Why? Perhaps because I was too afraid to face some truth... or Truth.
My journal was started March 2006. It's not quite half done. March and April 2006 are exercises suggested by a book on Spiritual Journaling by Richard Peace that I was trying on my own (but designed for groups). After that, I have a couple entries from 2006 with a single focus then jump to a bunch in 2007 followed by a handful in 2008 with again a different but single focus.
Which leads me to ask, when does feeling led end up feeling conflicted by our own human fears?
And following that, even though this is more public than private, more electronic than handwritten, is what I've just written any less a form of spiritual journaling?
I'm happy to share my knowledge, but I certainty don't want to come off as some type of perfect saint on the matter, because I'm not. We can grow on this adventure together.
Comments welcome.
I used to write when I felt led, which was sporadically, especially when very busy from work. This morning, out of curiosity and knowing I hadn't used it in a while, I went to pick up the journal and look at it. The fact it was buried under some computer manuals at my desk (I've had a lot of computer problems lately) was not a good sign.
Sure enough the last date is: 10/27/2008.
Nearly a year ago???
It's also interesting to me what the last entry is about. I don't mind mentioning it because I referred to it in the past in this blog. My last entry revolves around examining things when I heard that my first spiritual teacher, and also a founding member of my in-person Creative Words to Spread the Word group, suffered a major stroke that would quickly take her life. I wonder what she'd think of me, not practicing well what I've tried to preach.
Part of me wants to say it is all the personal struggles I've suffered the last year that have kept me from being the most effective I can. I've been thrown a lot of curveballs personally and professionally. Yet, instead of using Spiritual Journaling to get closer to God and work through things, I threw it aside and locked it away. That's not to say I wandered away from my faith, but I will say I don't think I've been taking full advantage of it.
Why? Perhaps because I was too afraid to face some truth... or Truth.
My journal was started March 2006. It's not quite half done. March and April 2006 are exercises suggested by a book on Spiritual Journaling by Richard Peace that I was trying on my own (but designed for groups). After that, I have a couple entries from 2006 with a single focus then jump to a bunch in 2007 followed by a handful in 2008 with again a different but single focus.
Which leads me to ask, when does feeling led end up feeling conflicted by our own human fears?
And following that, even though this is more public than private, more electronic than handwritten, is what I've just written any less a form of spiritual journaling?
I'm happy to share my knowledge, but I certainty don't want to come off as some type of perfect saint on the matter, because I'm not. We can grow on this adventure together.
Comments welcome.
Sunday, September 13, 2009
Blog Expectations - What You'll See Going Forward
In the past this blog served as supplemental to a physically based writing group, reprinting the group's brochures and for news announcements. These are one way forms of communication. A blog, however, is most effective when working as a two way communication with its readership, to some degree growing and flowing with those needs to fine tune.
The concept of the brochures/lessons will very much be in place, with the encouragement for people to use within their own writing groups everywhere or as self-study. However, also expect to see in the blog items such as:
- Single questions posted for the readership to ponder and respond to
- Exercises that are larger in scope than the brochures (an example might be a one week "exercise event" to actively encourage developing a character, with a phase of the exercise posted each day)
- Reflections on being a Christian and a writer from the blog's author for comment and insight
... and to be honest whatever else may be moved to happen. I'm not into putting limits on myself right now. Let's just see where the Spirit leads.
So here is the first question to the readership: is there anything you'd like to see to better help you as a Christian writer?
Blessings,
Shannon
The concept of the brochures/lessons will very much be in place, with the encouragement for people to use within their own writing groups everywhere or as self-study. However, also expect to see in the blog items such as:
- Single questions posted for the readership to ponder and respond to
- Exercises that are larger in scope than the brochures (an example might be a one week "exercise event" to actively encourage developing a character, with a phase of the exercise posted each day)
- Reflections on being a Christian and a writer from the blog's author for comment and insight
... and to be honest whatever else may be moved to happen. I'm not into putting limits on myself right now. Let's just see where the Spirit leads.
So here is the first question to the readership: is there anything you'd like to see to better help you as a Christian writer?
Blessings,
Shannon
Monday, June 29, 2009
Creative Words to Spread the Word Now Internet Based
This is a post to let it be known that Creative Words to Spread the Word is now totally moving to the Internet in terms of regular ministry. Also to clarify, it is my own ministry, and not one that has been run by my home church that I just happen to coordinate.
I am thankful that Wilshire Avenue Community Church provided the resources and ability to start Creative Words to Spread the Word as an in-person, small group ministry - and I may yet work with them for other in-person events - but situations have become such for me that running an Internet based ministry is the best use of my abilities for Christ.
More to come.
Blessings,
Shannon Muir
I am thankful that Wilshire Avenue Community Church provided the resources and ability to start Creative Words to Spread the Word as an in-person, small group ministry - and I may yet work with them for other in-person events - but situations have become such for me that running an Internet based ministry is the best use of my abilities for Christ.
More to come.
Blessings,
Shannon Muir
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